Content? Not yet but getting there

Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content. Philippians 4:11

I'm going to start this one out by stating that I AM NOT COMPLAINING about my life. Not in any way, shape or form! Right now, I am just sharing my thoughts about where I am in my life.

Now that I have said that, hmmm...content. I have recently found myself praying for this again. I found myself two years ago praying for this and I was amazed when I finally looked back at my life and found that I was content. I stopped longing for things that were not mine to have. I love how He hears our hearts desires and gives them to us when they are in line with His will for our lives.

I want to be back in that state of mind. I have been blessed so abundantly with the gift of my daughter. Please don't take this as me saying I want more. I'm not deserving of what He has already given me. How could I even think to want more blessings?

Sometimes my head is a scary place to be. I don't let things go very easily. I over think things. I try to figure things out in my head. I try to interpret meanings behind things that maybe aren't meant for me to understand or to know just yet. This is what I want to stop. I want to take each of these thoughts captive and give them over to God. I want to be comfortable waiting for Him to fulfill the promises He has given me instead of me saying "Is this it Lord?" or "What does this mean when ... happened?".

This is what I mean by wanting to be content. I want to be able to walk through my day CONTENT to be doing what He has me doing, going where He wants me to be and totally focused on the most important job He has ever given me...being a mom. All the rest of life is very distracting at times. I forgot about some of that while I was in China. I want my focus back. While I was in China, I never forgot any of the promises He had given me. I just wasn't busy trying to interpret all the little things and how they played into my desires. I was content...content in waiting on Him and His perfect timing for anything and everything in my life. I long for that again. My daughter deserves that from me.

Please pray that I am able to find this. I have started to find some of it as I have pulled myself back from some things that I have let my head get all wrapped up in. Pray I am able to hear His still, small voice so I know where He wants me to step, when He wants me to step and to wait contently for His plans to unfold instead of me unfolding my plans. Thank you Lord that you love me enough to continue to mold me into being the best mother and woman I can be.