It is hard to believe but five months ago today, Jade was placed in my arms. I guess the picture of that day is very fresh in my mind as a friend of mine is running Project Chosen this month on her blog. http://threadsoffaithfulness.blogspot.com/. Each day is a new family's adoption story. Our story is on there too. As I showed the pictures to Jade, she knew it was me but didn't recognize herself in the picture from the day I got her. She has seen herself in those glasses and the hat but didn't put the two together. Maybe it is because she is so different from the child she was on that day.
My heart broke for her and for other older orphans that can remember life before adoption. How many of them go through this? How many fear losing things that they have come to know...come to rely on...come to trust? I can't imagine what some of them have gone through before they had a family much less what goes on in their heads afterwards. As we drove to my friends house that evening, she asked me again "Mama here?". I frequently tell her "mama loves you...always." This time I told her that and I will always be here for you. I also told her that Jesus would always love her and also always be there for her. Though she may not truly understand what that means for her life yet, it gave me comfort knowing that He is watching over her. He is keeping watch and He never sleeps. No matter what her fears are or my fears are, He does give us a spirit of power, of love and a sound mind when we call on Him during those times. Thank you Lord for doing that.