Not traveling next week

And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of G*d has been poured out in our hearts by the H*ly Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:3-5

I got up Friday morning dreading making the call to the National Visa Center. I knew in my heart on Thursday, that unless they had received the papers from immigration that day, there would not be enough time for me to get an appointment at the Consulate, schedule a flight, unpack a house, pack for China and fly out by Tuesday am. My heart was breaking knowing that I was going to have to wait longer to get my daughter, but I made the call anyways just to be sure. I was right. They had not received the papers from immigration. I was not to get my daughter...yet.

Why does it take so little time for things to be approved yet a week for them to be mailed? I lived in China and they have so many people employed in so many places. Granted they make very little money, yet the integrity they have for their jobs is so great. So often, people don't want to take that little extra step to help someone else out. I know I had no special reason for them to push my papers through. It is amazing that if you have a reason, they can do things in one day that usually take months. Instead of being frustrated with the system though, I am holding onto the truth that G*d is in control.

I believe He is all knowing and He only wants good for me. Many don't think that having tribulations or challenges in your life as "good." I do know they are as they are what continues to shape and mold me. I am resting in knowing that His perfect plan will come together...IN HIS PERFECT TIMING. As I talked to my pastor on Friday, he reminded me that Abraham had waited 13 years before he took things into his own hands to produce the child he wanted and was promised. He warned me not to do anything of my own will. Fortunately, other than getting on a plane and heading to Ch*na, there is nothing I can do. So I wait.

A friend of me thought I was pushing it when I originally thought I could travel by August 18th. I know that He allowed me to hope for that. I tend to be a BIG procrastinator! Had I thought I had another two weeks, all that is now done would not be done. Because I am done with Ch*na stuff, I now have these next two weeks to allow me to do the mommy nesting thing. I can prepare our home.

I moved back into my home on Thursday night with the help from people at my church. What a gift that was. After they left, I walked from room to room praying over the house and for my daughter. I can't wait to have her in my arms. I can't wait to bring her home. As the men were putting things together, some things weren't perfect. All I would ask was "Is it safe for my daughter? Will it work?". That is all that matters now to me. I think that was why yesterday was so hard.

Yesterday, some friends and my mom came out to help me unpack. What an amazing blessing they have given me. My house is so big and I have so much stuff. I kept telling my best friend that I was just feeling uneasy all day and I wasn't sure why. Little things kept bothering me but I knew there was more to it than I was realizing. It hit me late last night. I don't want all this stuff that we were unpacking!

Thursday night, I walked through my home. It was simple. It was clean. It was orderly. It is no longer that way. I lived in Ch*na with so little and was so content. I didn't need all of the STUFF that I have here and I presently don't want all the stuff here. I think where I am having a problem with my stuff is that it represents money I wasted. Before I was saved, I was a shop-a-holic. I shopped to avoid feeling. I shopped to fill in the hole in my heart. I shopped to procrastinate. Many of the things that are coming out of those boxes are reminders of how I have lived my life. I no longer want them in my life because I no longer want that kind of life. I told my pastor on Thursday night that I would have more than enough stuff here to outfit a new couple that had little to nothing. Let me bless others with my abundance. I no longer need it.

Do you have things in your own home that you don't need? There may be others around you that are in need and you have something you can offer them. It may be something tangible, like the stuff in my boxes. It may be a meal. It may be encouragement. Whatever it is, you do have something you can offer to someone who has less than you. Be willing to give. You will find you are blessed when you do.